A few months ago in church, I saw a picture from God. As I began to pray I saw him pull me into his lap the way one does with a child, and as he cradled me in his arms, he asked “What is it? Tell me.” I felt at peace.
The picture of love, attention, and care still gives me goosebumps.
This year I have been reminded over and over that God can take it. That he asks “where are you?” (Gen 3:9) and actually wants to hear the answer, even if it isn’t pretty. I had always assumed that I didn’t need to tell him how I was feeling about things because in my logical brain I know that he already knows. What I didn’t realize is that 1. he is asking where I am, and 2. he asks because it builds our relationship. That essentially, talking to him about anything and everything is prayer – it doesn’t have to be a formal thing that starts with “Dear God” and ends with “Amen”.
“Cast all your anxieties on God, for he cares for you.” (1 Peter 1:7 NLT)
When I tell God that I am struggling, yes, he knows. But he still wants me to tell him. If I’ve had a good day and am thankful, or I have been anxious and depressed and want to know why in the world relationships are broken and seem impossible to fix and that I’m hurting and angry – he wants me to tell him.
He will listen with the tenderness that only he has, cradling me as a much-loved child even while I tell him how much I disagree with his timing or rage that he let something happen and that it isn’t fair to experience the losses that I have.
And he will rejoice in the good things or grieve in the hard things with me. He reminds me that I am loved, that he will make all things come together for good, and that in the meantime, he is here with me. And while that isn’t the concrete answer that my fickle heart would prefer, I am learning to rest in the knowledge that I am loved and that that is more than enough.
“Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than the birds…Walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers- most of which are never seen, don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you?” Matthew 6: 25-27, MSG
